I really liked the first draft of the script. i had a few ideas which i put forward at the first meeting which were mainly about the transitions and style of the piece. while reading i had a vision of similar transitions as used in Edgar Wrights 'Hot Fuzz' and 'Shaun of the dead' which instead of simply cutting or fading it has a quick snappy montage which shows action and then leads into the next scene, here is an example:
i also think that the heart monitor sound heard at the beginning should be heard through out as a recurring theme to represent the monotonous rhythm of his life.
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